everything nicole

Stop - boobie time

Among the craziness that is my life these days, I've been weaning Gracie. Yes, I know it is past due, but it has been harder than I ever thougt it would be. If you're uncomfortable with the topic, just scan ahead to the "ps" and I'll see you next time. Believe me, I got past being embarassed a long time ago. I will try to keep this clean, though. My dad and some former students read my blog.
I used to talk to other mammas about this when Gracie was a newborn. I remember thinking, "How hard can it be, by god, your kid is old enough! Get over it already." I'm telling you, if you've never been in this situation, you really have no idea. It goes far beyond common sense. There are hormones and instincts involved, I promise.
We were doing so well weaning. We went two whole days (yes, that is good!). She had a few moments of crying when she woke up from her naps, but she pretty much didn't care. I, on the other hand have been a wreck. Which has only been compounded by her nonchalant attitude. I was still hanging in there like a good momma, until last night. On top of the emotional pain I was in (which, logically, I know is ridiculous), I was in actual pain. Not such a good combination.
So here's how I rationalized it at 11:30pm last night: "Since she's sleeping, she won't remember it. Maybe she'll just think it was a nice dream!" "If we just do it every once in a while, it won't be a big deal." and, "No one has to know, really." Well, this morning, she did remember & was ready for a second helping. If we only did do it every once in a while, when exactly would we stop, when she goes away to school? You and I both know that Randy is going to ask, and I'm going to have to tell. Plus, I have to write about it here!
So here we are, starting again. 22 hours down, a lifetime to go! Please wish me luck - I need it! xoxo

ps - If all goes well, we are planning on moving our stuff out on Saturday, the 7th. Anyone who wants to help please just show up - You'll be my hero for the day!

posted by nicole @ 5/02/2005 09:27:00 PM